A narcissist's promises of loyalty are as empty as their charm.
Disloyal or Loyal?
Disloyal!
Loyalty is not something that a narcissist can be.
A narcissist’s promises of loyalty are as fleeting as their charm. They’re masters of deception, weaving a web of intimacy and commitment that ultimately serves their own insatiable need for validation. They manipulate you into believing in their devotion while actively seeking new targets.
The Exclusivity Charade:
- They shower you with affection in the beginning, constantly texting, calling, and making you feel like the center of their world. This intense focus creates the illusion of a unique and exclusive bond. It’s a strategic move, however, designed to isolate you from your own social circle and make you more dependent on them. They might even subtly criticize your friends or family, further chipping away at your support system and amplifying your reliance on them.
The “We’re a Team” Façade:
- They paint a picture of you as a united front against the world. They badmouth their exes or create scenarios where you’re “in it together” facing external challenges. This reinforces the idea that you’re soulmates, fostering trust and loyalty…on your end. However, this narrative serves a dual purpose. By putting down their past relationships, they downplay any potential emotional attachments and paint themselves as the victim.
Sharing “Secrets and Dreams”:
- They create a sense of intimacy by confiding in you and expressing their deepest desires. This makes you feel special and trusted, further solidifying the apparent bond. However, these secrets might be carefully crafted stories or exaggerated experiences, designed to manipulate your emotions and keep you invested. They might even be testing the waters, gauging your reactions to gauge your suitability as a long-term supply of attention.
Future Faking: A Tool, Not a Promise:
- They readily discuss the future with you, talking about vacations, buying a house, even starting a family. These elaborate plans can be intoxicating, making you feel secure and solidify your commitment. While you envision a shared future, for the narcissist, it’s just another tool in their manipulative arsenal. These promises are empty calories, a way to keep you invested while they keep their options open.
Devaluing Others to Inflate Themselves:
- They constantly criticize their friends, colleagues, or even family. This not only isolates you but also subtly implies that you’re the only one who truly “gets” them, fostering a sense of special connection and irreplaceability. However, this devaluation tactic also serves as a warning sign. If they can dismiss the people closest to them so readily, what’s to stop them from doing the same to you eventually?
The Narcissist’s Compartmentalized World:
- All the while, behind the scenes, the narcissist is craving constant admiration. Their need for validation is never truly satiated. They’re always on the lookout for new sources of attention, flirting or subtly charming others. They can maintain separate realities, appearing devoted to you while keeping their options open. They justify their actions to themselves, convincing themselves that their flirting is harmless or that they deserve more attention because you’re “not enough.”
The truth is, the narcissist’s loyalty is a mirage, a carefully constructed illusion designed to control and manipulate you. When they find a new target, the facade crumbles. They might suddenly become distant, critical, or even start fights to push you away, making the “breakup” seem like your fault. Remember, their loyalty is conditional and fleeting. They are beholden only to their own desires, and their capacity for genuine connection is nonexistent.
