Where did the term "Gaslighting" originate?
The term “Gaslighting” originated from a 1944 film called Gaslight where a man had recently married his wife because of her wealth. To get her valuable jewels, he began doing things that made her question her sanity. He started to dim the gas lights and then turn them back up again. This made her question whether or not she was seeing things. Her husband assured her that the lights had not dimmed. It must be her imagination. This type of behavior went on for quite a period of time until she discovered what he was actually doing.
Gaslighting Definition
Merriam-Webster defines it as the “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
The narcissist will twist and turn facts over and over again so that you end up not knowing what is fact or fiction anymore. You are left in a state of confusion and questioning yourself over just about everything that goes on in your relationship. The narcissist convinces you that they know the truth and tell you that you don’t remember the facts correctly. This is a type of brainwashing.
Unmasking the Manipulator: How Narcissists Use Gaslighting
I’ve witnessed firsthand the devastating effects of gaslighting, a subtle but potent form of emotional abuse. I want to shed light on this manipulative tactic, particularly how it’s often employed by narcissists to control and exploit their victims.
Gaslighting, in essence, is the act of twisting reality to make someone question their own sanity, memories, and judgment. It’s a gradual erosion of trust and self-belief, often leaving victims feeling confused, anxious, and isolated. Narcissists, known for their inflated sense of self-importance and lack of empathy, are particularly adept at using gaslighting to maintain power and control in their relationships.
Here’s how a narcissist might use gaslighting:
- Denial and Refusal: A narcissist might flatly deny ever saying or doing something, even when presented with evidence. This blatant denial leaves the victim doubting their own memory and perception, creating a sense of confusion and self-blame.
- Trivialization and Minimization: They might downplay or dismiss the victim’s feelings and experiences, making them feel insignificant and invalidated. For example, a narcissistic partner might say, “You’re overreacting. It’s not a big deal,” when their partner expresses a legitimate concern.
- Shifting the Blame: Narcissists are masters at deflecting responsibility and turning the tables on their victims. They might project their own wrongdoings onto the victim, making them feel like the one who is causing problems or being unreasonable. A narcissist will not take responsibility.
- Isolation and Discrediting: They may isolate the victim from their loved ones, controlling who they can see and talk to, eroding their support system. Additionally, they might spread lies and manipulate others to doubt the victim’s credibility, effectively silencing their voice and leaving them feeling alone. A narcissist does not want to be seen as the one at fault.
The impact of gaslighting can be profound and long-lasting. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you suspect you’re being gaslighted, it’s crucial to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. By understanding gaslighting and its tactics, we can empower ourselves and others to recognize and confront this manipulative behavior, ultimately protecting ourselves from its harmful effects. Gaslighting is only one trait or behavior of a narcissist. You can learn more about the other traits of a narcissist here.
