How to Identify a Narcissist
There are many behaviors and traits that define a narcissist. Let’s begin with 12 traits that can help you determine if a person in your life could be one.
One telling factor is their ego. The ego of a narcissist is huge!!! I am always reminded of a song that has the words “Oh Lord, It’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.” A narcissist never sees themselves as equal to other human beings. They feel they are superior to everyone.
Another telling sign is how they charm you by wining and dining you and treating you like you are the one and only in their life. Then you start to see that charm diminish in the following months. They think they are close to having you “hooked.” Beware!! This is just one of the masks that they present.
Narcissists wear a mask
Behind the mask is an empty shell of a person who is lacking in self-worth, lacking in confidence, lacking in love, low self-esteem, lacking in the ability to have or show emotions, and unable to be vulnerable.
Don’t let the mask fool you. As the narcissist gets to know you their mask will slowly drop away exposing themselves to who they truly are.
We’ll use a “magnifying glass” to help you see through facade of their mask. When you understand how the narcissists puts on different masks, you can move forward to your rightful happy life.
12 Traits of a Narcissist and Counting ....
Are you ready to dive deeper into the complex world of narcissism? Use your magnifying glass to explore some of those “hunches” you have experienced. Things don’t seem quite right. You are doubting yourself, making excuses about the narcissist. The confidence that you once had seems to have gone.
Read on and you will learn that it is not your imagination that things have changed. And, rest assured that it is not you!!! A narcissist is a master manipulator and will have you tied up in knots questioning everything about yourself and your life prior to the narcissist coming into it.
There are many more than 12 ways to identify a narcissist and their behaviors. The following list is just a short list that may help you on your journey of discovering if you might be dealing with a narcissist in your life.
- Charmer – makes you believe that you have met your “one and only.”
- Contradictory – says one thing and then says or does another.
- Vengeful – tit-for-tat mentality.
- Lacks responsibility – will not take ownership of anything that would reflect badly on themselves.
- Controlling – wants you under their spell and control at all times.
- Cheater – gets tired of you and goes out and finds someone else.
- Liar – will tell lies to get out of any situation that they don’t like.
- Lacks empathy – they have no ability to “feel” what others might be feeling.
- Not sorry – no regrets for how their behavior affects others.
- No remorse – no feelings that maybe they shouldn’t have done this or that.
- Disloyal – just because you have been with the narcissist for a long time does not mean that they are true to only you.
- Gaslights – say or do things that make you question your sanity.
- No intimacy – they are so afraid of true love and intimacy that they will not “go there” with anyone. It would mean that they would have to open up to be vulnerable.
- Attention seeker – wants to be the center of attention and the most knowledgeable person around.
- Projects – they project their ideas on others trying to get their buy-in.
- Entitled – they believe they are above everyone therefore they are entitled to more than others.
- Not apologetic – apologizing would mean that they are accepting responsibility for something and they can never be wrong.
- Empty promises – will tell you anything just to get you to go along with their ideas.
- Resentful – will get back at you if you dare to contradict something they have said or done.
- No filters – words will blurt out of their mouths without thought to how that might affect the person they are speaking to.
- Possessive – will distance you from your friends or family so that they can retain control of you and who you associate with.
- Punishes – will do or say hurtful things to you to get back at you for something.
- No boundaries – they feel they are superior and in control and that boundaries do not pertain to them.
- Defensive – they will defend their behaviors to the end.
