Why the Relentless Defense?

This constant justification serves several purposes for the narcissist:

• Preserving their Inflated Ego: Taking responsibility would be a crack in their carefully constructed facade of perfection. They cannot accept blame, as it undermines their sense of superiority.
• Maintaining Control: By deflecting blame, they maintain control of the narrative and the relationship. You become defensive, while they remain in the power position.
• Protecting their Emotional Supply: They need constant admiration and validation. Taking responsibility for bad behavior could jeopardize their source of emotional support (you).
• Testing Your Boundaries: By constantly pushing boundaries and seeing how much they can get away with, they gauge your tolerance level and assert their dominance.

The Emotional Toll

Being on the receiving end of a narcissist’s justifications is emotionally draining. It can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and questioning yourself. You might even start apologizing for their behavior, a tactic they readily exploit.