No Boundaries:

Narcissists don’t respect boundaries and don’t understand “NO.” They will do whatever they can to avoid your boundaries.

They believe that they are far superior to everyone else and therefore are exempt to any rules or boundaries that you may place on them.

When someone tries to set boundaries with a narcissist, it challenges their core beliefs and disrupts the way they see the world. Here’s a breakdown of how a narcissist thinks about boundaries being placed on them:

Threat to their superiority:

• Boundaries imply limitations and restrictions. Narcissists see themselves as above such constraints. They think, “Why should I have to follow your rules? I’m better than that.”

Loss of control:

• Boundaries give the other person control over their own time, energy, and actions. Narcissists crave control and might feel threatened by the shift in power dynamic. They think, “You can’t tell me what to do! I’m in charge here.”

Narcissistic injury:

• Setting boundaries can be perceived as a rejection or criticism. Narcissists are hypersensitive and experience a narcissistic injury, a deep blow to their self-esteem. They think, “How dare you tell me no? You’re just trying to hurt me.”

Manipulation tactics:

• Instead of respecting boundaries, a narcissist might employ various tactics to get their way:
  • Guilt trips: “After all I’ve done for you, you can’t do this?”
  • Anger and rage: Intimidation to get what they want.
  • Minimizing: “That’s not a big deal, just do it for me.”
  • Charm and flattery: Trying to sweet-talk their way past the boundary.

It’s all about them:

• A narcissist struggles to understand the concept of boundaries because they see the world in terms of how it affects them. They think, “Your boundaries don’t matter, only my needs do.”

It’s a personal attack:

• In their distorted thinking, a narcissist interprets boundaries as a personal attack on their character or worth. They think, “You setting boundaries means you don’t like me or think I’m bad.”

Every narcissist is an individual, but understanding their core needs and how boundaries clash with them can help you navigate such situations.